Learning To Let Go Of Control: What Change Taught Me About Trusting Myself

I like to know what’s next.

I like having a plan, a backup plan, and a backup for the backup. I like knowing how things will turn out so I can prepare- emotionally, mentally, logistically. I like the illusion of control because it makes me feel safe. But the last three years? Life laughed at my plans and handed me something else: change. Big, uncomfortable, unpredictable change.

At first, I resisted. I gripped tighter. I overthought, overplanned, and overanalyzed everything. I kept thinking, if I could just figure this out- if I could just fix it- I’d feel okay again. But the truth is, there’s no version of life where we can out-plan uncertainty. And eventually, I had to surrender.

Letting go of control didn’t happen all at once. It happened in small, quiet ways: when I stopped forcing myself to have a life plan. When I allowed myself to say “I don’t know” without shame. When I stopped seeing every detour as a failure and started seeing it as a redirection.

And somewhere in that surrender, I found something surprising: trust.

Not trust in the world- because let’s be honest, the world can be chaotic- but trust in myself. I started to believe that even if things didn’t go according to plan, I’d still be okay. I’d still show up. I’d still find a way forward. I stopped trying to control the outcome and started focusing on how I respond, how I grow, and how I care for myself through it all.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Control is often a mask for fear. And fear loses its power when we name it, feel it, and walk with it instead of against it.

• You don’t need all the answers to move forward. Sometimes the answers come after the leap- not before.

• Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means loosing your grip so you can receive something new, even if its not what you expected.

I still love a good plan. I still keep a to-do list. But I hold things a little more loosely now. I trust myself a little more deeply. And honestly? That’s a kind of peace I didn’t know I needed.

If you are navigating a season of change right now, this is your reminder: you don’t have to figure it out all today. Just take the next right step, and trust that who you are becoming will meet you there.